Relationship Questions
Pheromones and Individuation
When humankind reveals its true purpose to itself, everyone will remember why they went through the process they did. Notice how you reacted to that statement.
Before we entered into the physical earthly dimension we existed in a state of one-ness. We all used one mind; a universal mind. There were no barriers between any of us. We were not yet individuated. We were merely a part of the whole. It is with the purpose of individuation that we entered this dualistic physical reality. We needed to separate. We needed our own body vehicle that was physically separate from the other parts of the whole in order to create an identity. |
When we entered physicality we still operated from that one mind. We still could tell what everyone else was thinking and feeling so we needed to close our selves off from that universal one mind in order to create our own individual minds.
Separation was utterly crucial in creating an environment that would allow and enable individuation.
Once we were in individual bodies we had a new way of communication with other individuals. Before entering physicality we communicated via feelings. The new bodies were capable of that, too, through the use of the solar plexus. But being physical created a new way of communicating. And this was through the use of pheromones.
If you have a physical body you have pheromones. A physical body emits pheromones with each of its actions or movements or chemical reactions. Every time an emotion is felt, pheromones are released.
Before we came into bodies we only had feelings but once in a body we had both feelings and emotions. Communication through emotions is done with pheromones.
There are tens of thousands of pheromones created and released by the human body. A pheromone is an air-borne hormone. While feelings are released from the body through the solar plexus, pheromones are released from various spots around the body. Some are released through the eyeballs, some through the breath, some through the skin, some through the ears, some through the saliva, some through sweat, some through urine, some through the hands and fingers, some through the voice, some through thought projection, some through the hair, etc.
We are emitting pheromones all the time and so is everyone else. What happens is that our pheromones that we have emitted from our bodies fly through the air and they meet other people's pheromones. The two pheromones join up and "read" each other. The pheromone will have an imprint of what the person who emitted it was thinking and feeling as it was emitted. So the pheromone will "read" the imprint of the other person's pheromone and then signal that information back to the person who initially emitted it.
Remember, every emotion has a corresponding pheromone. Every time that emotion is felt or triggered in any way that corresponding pheromone is released by the body and can be picked up by anyone else. When we feel fear we release a fear pheromone that anyone around us can detect. Some animals can detect it, too. Animals work on pheromones, too.
When we feel sexual arousal we emit a pheromone that says we are ready to mate. That is what animals do during mating season. The females begin releasing pheromones that say they are ready to mate. Males, whose pheromones are being emitted in all directions, detect the pheromones being emitted by the females and signal back to the body that there are females ready to mate which creates arousal in the males which subsequently sends out pheromones that say that they are ready to mate, too. The male and female then use the pheromones to find each other (each pheromone is like a GPS tracking device) and they then mate. When the females are not in mating season they do not emit the pheromones saying they are ready to mate so therefore there is no arousal and no mating.
It is the same with humans except that humans are not seasonal. They can emit sexual arousal pheromones 365 days a year.
But it is not just sex; it is all emotions. Let us say you are angry and therefore you are emitting anger pheromones. You are emitting those anger pheromones into a literal sea of pheromones being emitting by other humans. Other people's pheromones will meet and "read" your anger pheromones. In this way they will know that you are angry before they even meet and talk to you. Knowing this, they will react in one of two basic ways; they will either avoid you altogether because they do not want their anger ignited or because they do not like anger and just want to avoid it, or they connect with you because they have anger, too. A pheromonal circuitry is established that feeds the anger of both individuals. The two individuals will use their pheromones to find each other in order to physically react and release that anger in a circuitry that feeds the anger.
Let us go back to fear. If you are emitting fear pheromones into that sea of pheromones, the pheromones of those who prey on fear will detect them and use them to find you in order to establish a circuitry of fear with you. While emotions have energy, a circuitry of emotions between individuals multiplies that energy exponentially. Having separated from one-ness we no longer feel fueled by it so we seek fuel through emotional energy instead and that is why we seek out pheromonal circuitry that feeds us this emotional energy.
Let us say we feel guilty and thereby release guilt pheromones. These guilt pheromones are picked up by those who get emotional energy out of making others feel guilty. So when you feel guilty you are attracting the energy of those who will fortify and empower your guilt. Do you see how pheromones work?
Let us say you are feeling like a victim. Whose pheromones will you attract? Those of a perpetrator; one who feeds off of victimhood. Let us say you are feeling dominant and superior and dictatorial. Through pheromones, you will attract those who are fine with being dominated and ruled over. The circuitry feeds both parties. Once one party changes their pheromones by changing their emotions then the circuitry is broken and it no longer feeds either party.
There are tens of thousands of different human pheromones; one for each emotion in the entire spectrum. Imagine coming from a non-physical dimension, where one communicates through feeling-tones and one-ness, into a physical dimension into a physical body that creates a pheromone every time there is a chemical reaction in the body. And you find yourself in a sea of zillions of pheromones flying in all directions coming from other bodies. That would be quite a change, would it not?
When we came into our bodies we still retained our ability to communicate through feeling-tone and one-ness but we now suddenly also had a new method of communication; pheromones. We were so overwhelmed by this new physicality-based mode of communication that it seemed to overshadow the feeling-tone/one-ness that we were used to and we started to forget about it. It took all of our attention to try to figure out this new way of communicating that we removed our attention away from one-ness. This was a necessary part of the individuation process.
There were problems, though--if we choose to look at them as problems. We now had our own bodies and we could become individuals but because of all the pheromones we were emitting everyone else could tell instantly what we were thinking and feeling. Every one of our emotions was an open book to anyone we came even remotely in contact with. And everyone else's emotions were instantly read by us. In our process of becoming individuals we did not want to be bombarded by everyone else's emotions and we did not want everyone else to read our every emotion. We needed to separate further from other individuals.
So what we did is we started trying to keep our pheromones inside of us and not emitting them. Unfortunately, this was the beginning of dis-ease. Pheromones are designed to be emitted and not be held in the body. What happens to the pheromones when they are held in the body? They have to go somewhere so they embed themselves in tissue. Certain pheromones migrate to certain tissues. Anger pheromones, for instance, prefer to embed themselves in liver tissue. Sorrow and grief pheromones embed themselves in heart tissue. Fear pheromones embed themselves in stomach tissue, etc. When pheromones accumulate in tissue they fester and create imbalance and dis-ease.
As another example, anger pheromones are released via the saliva. Whenever you find yourself angry you should spit all the saliva that you can out of your mouth. Not only will this diminish your anger but it will release those pheromones out of your body. If you swallow your saliva when you are angry those anger pheromones will travel with that saliva into your stomach and then they will make their way from there into your liver where they will embed themselves in the liver tissue.
Sexual pheromones are released through the sex organs as well as the skin. They are actually somewhat hard to keep and hold in the body. Though we can hold back a good portion of them, some are almost always released. When we do try to block our sex pheromones from being released they will imbed themselves in skin tissue as well as the tissue of our sex organs, creating problems in those areas.
While wearing clothes had a lot to do with protection from changing climates it also had a lot to do with trying to keep our sex pheromones from going all over the place. After all, we did not want to mate with anybody and everybody. In our attempt at further separation clothes became both a literal and symbolic line of demarcation, or separation. When we look at a naked body (either in real life or in a photo) we are receiving and reading all the sex pheromones being emitted by that body (either at the time or at the time the photo was taken). We decided we did not want to read everyone's sex pheromones and we did not want everyone to be reading our sex pheromones. Clothes offered a way to hide, or at least disguise, those pheromones. They are a veil we put between ourselves to provide a comfort zone in which to pursue individuation.
So what happens when you hold your pheromones inside your body? Does that mean others cannot read them? Actually, no it does not. It merely means the pheromones are a little harder to find. Pheromones are designed to be emitted from the body and to meet other pheromones outside of the body. If you are holding your pheromones inside your body then other pheromones will have to come inside your body to find them in an attempt at initiating circuitry. This is unnatural and creates a feeling of being invaded. We react to this by getting defensive and by holding even more pheromones within the body.
When two people meet their pheromones are already very busy searching out any possible circuitry. When both people hold their pheromones within their bodies that circuitry will be very difficult and the two people will have difficulty connecting. When one person is holding their pheromones within their body and the other is letting them flow out unimpeded, the person holding their pheromones within their body will feel very threatened by the other person and will get defensive and turn away from the other person. The other person will feel the defensiveness of the first person and either turn away because it is not a compatible connection or it will pursue that first person if they are one who feeds off the energy of other's defensiveness. If both people are allowing their pheromones to flow out unimpeded, their pheromones will meet out in the air between them. They will either find a compatibility that leads to a healthy exchange of energy or they will be able to read an incompatibility and proceed to go their own way.
Concerning lust and pornography, first, let me say that pheromones can not only travel through the air but they can go through brick walls. They can go through internet connections, clothes, across continents, through steel, and they can be captured and emitted through photographs and videos. If you take a picture of a sexually aroused naked person their sex pheromones are captured and held in that photograph. When you look at the photograph your pheromones can detect and connect with the pheromones of the sexually aroused naked person in the photograph. (The same goes for a fully clothed sexually aroused person.)
So when you look at a photo of a sexually aroused naked person you are actually connecting with that person through their pheromones. Their sex pheromones activate your sex pheromones and a circuitry can be established even though one person is not there and is only in a photograph. Even though the photograph may have been taken years ago, the pheromones of the person who is in the photograph will receive the pheromones of the person looking at the photo. So a porn star whose nude photos are being circulated and looked at by thousands of people will have the pheromones of those thousands of people directioned towards her (or him) and their pheromones will have to deal with the pheromones of those thousands of people. This can create a situation of extreme pheromone overload. Some can feed off this energy but for most it can be too much--especially if the porn star is holding any sex pheromones within their body.
The same can be said of any movie stars or anyone whose pictures are in wide circulation. If a movie star is widely adored and the many pictures in circulation are kept and viewed by people adoring that movie star the movie star will feel that adoration through the onslaught of pheromones released through viewing their photos and, if they can handle it, they can use that intense adoration to feed them energy and further their career.
Anyway, can you see why Crazy Horse never allowed himself to be photographed? Can you see why many celebrities choose to always appear in public with dark sunglasses on? A very large number of pheromones are released through our eyeballs and these pheromones can be read from photographs.
Sexually, we seek circuitry in order to create arousal and subsequent expression and release of sexual energy. Pornography can create enough circuitry to create that arousal. The viewer of the pornography must then find the expression and release.
Of course, we can also create arousal through imagination. It's easier, though, for many to look at a photograph than use their imagination. We can also create arousal through creating an intimate circuitry with another human being. Once again, it is easier for some to just look at a photograph. What may be more important than the arousal is how we express and release that sexual energy. And it is possible to create arousal and expression and release of sexual energy without engaging other humans. It is important to realize that whether we are viewing photos or videos or other humans we are engaging a circuitry with those humans. Engaging other people in circuitry is neither right nor wrong; it is a matter of quality of circuitry.
So here we are in a physical dimension with physical bodies and with pheromones flying all over the place. We are so overloaded with it that we have thoroughly forgotten about our original method of communication; feeling-tones and one-ness.
In the process of individuation we must first separate and then we must be able to see through those veils of separation. By bringing one-ness back into the equation we can merge our divinity with our individuality and become the gods that we are. We seemed trapped in circuitries but if we become aware of how those circuitries function we need not be trapped. We operate in pheromonal emotional circuitries. Once we realize this and remember that we also have available to us feeling-tone circuitries we can use both to express ourselves and create from the feeling-tone of unconditional love that feeds all things.
Separation was utterly crucial in creating an environment that would allow and enable individuation.
Once we were in individual bodies we had a new way of communication with other individuals. Before entering physicality we communicated via feelings. The new bodies were capable of that, too, through the use of the solar plexus. But being physical created a new way of communicating. And this was through the use of pheromones.
If you have a physical body you have pheromones. A physical body emits pheromones with each of its actions or movements or chemical reactions. Every time an emotion is felt, pheromones are released.
Before we came into bodies we only had feelings but once in a body we had both feelings and emotions. Communication through emotions is done with pheromones.
There are tens of thousands of pheromones created and released by the human body. A pheromone is an air-borne hormone. While feelings are released from the body through the solar plexus, pheromones are released from various spots around the body. Some are released through the eyeballs, some through the breath, some through the skin, some through the ears, some through the saliva, some through sweat, some through urine, some through the hands and fingers, some through the voice, some through thought projection, some through the hair, etc.
We are emitting pheromones all the time and so is everyone else. What happens is that our pheromones that we have emitted from our bodies fly through the air and they meet other people's pheromones. The two pheromones join up and "read" each other. The pheromone will have an imprint of what the person who emitted it was thinking and feeling as it was emitted. So the pheromone will "read" the imprint of the other person's pheromone and then signal that information back to the person who initially emitted it.
Remember, every emotion has a corresponding pheromone. Every time that emotion is felt or triggered in any way that corresponding pheromone is released by the body and can be picked up by anyone else. When we feel fear we release a fear pheromone that anyone around us can detect. Some animals can detect it, too. Animals work on pheromones, too.
When we feel sexual arousal we emit a pheromone that says we are ready to mate. That is what animals do during mating season. The females begin releasing pheromones that say they are ready to mate. Males, whose pheromones are being emitted in all directions, detect the pheromones being emitted by the females and signal back to the body that there are females ready to mate which creates arousal in the males which subsequently sends out pheromones that say that they are ready to mate, too. The male and female then use the pheromones to find each other (each pheromone is like a GPS tracking device) and they then mate. When the females are not in mating season they do not emit the pheromones saying they are ready to mate so therefore there is no arousal and no mating.
It is the same with humans except that humans are not seasonal. They can emit sexual arousal pheromones 365 days a year.
But it is not just sex; it is all emotions. Let us say you are angry and therefore you are emitting anger pheromones. You are emitting those anger pheromones into a literal sea of pheromones being emitting by other humans. Other people's pheromones will meet and "read" your anger pheromones. In this way they will know that you are angry before they even meet and talk to you. Knowing this, they will react in one of two basic ways; they will either avoid you altogether because they do not want their anger ignited or because they do not like anger and just want to avoid it, or they connect with you because they have anger, too. A pheromonal circuitry is established that feeds the anger of both individuals. The two individuals will use their pheromones to find each other in order to physically react and release that anger in a circuitry that feeds the anger.
Let us go back to fear. If you are emitting fear pheromones into that sea of pheromones, the pheromones of those who prey on fear will detect them and use them to find you in order to establish a circuitry of fear with you. While emotions have energy, a circuitry of emotions between individuals multiplies that energy exponentially. Having separated from one-ness we no longer feel fueled by it so we seek fuel through emotional energy instead and that is why we seek out pheromonal circuitry that feeds us this emotional energy.
Let us say we feel guilty and thereby release guilt pheromones. These guilt pheromones are picked up by those who get emotional energy out of making others feel guilty. So when you feel guilty you are attracting the energy of those who will fortify and empower your guilt. Do you see how pheromones work?
Let us say you are feeling like a victim. Whose pheromones will you attract? Those of a perpetrator; one who feeds off of victimhood. Let us say you are feeling dominant and superior and dictatorial. Through pheromones, you will attract those who are fine with being dominated and ruled over. The circuitry feeds both parties. Once one party changes their pheromones by changing their emotions then the circuitry is broken and it no longer feeds either party.
There are tens of thousands of different human pheromones; one for each emotion in the entire spectrum. Imagine coming from a non-physical dimension, where one communicates through feeling-tones and one-ness, into a physical dimension into a physical body that creates a pheromone every time there is a chemical reaction in the body. And you find yourself in a sea of zillions of pheromones flying in all directions coming from other bodies. That would be quite a change, would it not?
When we came into our bodies we still retained our ability to communicate through feeling-tone and one-ness but we now suddenly also had a new method of communication; pheromones. We were so overwhelmed by this new physicality-based mode of communication that it seemed to overshadow the feeling-tone/one-ness that we were used to and we started to forget about it. It took all of our attention to try to figure out this new way of communicating that we removed our attention away from one-ness. This was a necessary part of the individuation process.
There were problems, though--if we choose to look at them as problems. We now had our own bodies and we could become individuals but because of all the pheromones we were emitting everyone else could tell instantly what we were thinking and feeling. Every one of our emotions was an open book to anyone we came even remotely in contact with. And everyone else's emotions were instantly read by us. In our process of becoming individuals we did not want to be bombarded by everyone else's emotions and we did not want everyone else to read our every emotion. We needed to separate further from other individuals.
So what we did is we started trying to keep our pheromones inside of us and not emitting them. Unfortunately, this was the beginning of dis-ease. Pheromones are designed to be emitted and not be held in the body. What happens to the pheromones when they are held in the body? They have to go somewhere so they embed themselves in tissue. Certain pheromones migrate to certain tissues. Anger pheromones, for instance, prefer to embed themselves in liver tissue. Sorrow and grief pheromones embed themselves in heart tissue. Fear pheromones embed themselves in stomach tissue, etc. When pheromones accumulate in tissue they fester and create imbalance and dis-ease.
As another example, anger pheromones are released via the saliva. Whenever you find yourself angry you should spit all the saliva that you can out of your mouth. Not only will this diminish your anger but it will release those pheromones out of your body. If you swallow your saliva when you are angry those anger pheromones will travel with that saliva into your stomach and then they will make their way from there into your liver where they will embed themselves in the liver tissue.
Sexual pheromones are released through the sex organs as well as the skin. They are actually somewhat hard to keep and hold in the body. Though we can hold back a good portion of them, some are almost always released. When we do try to block our sex pheromones from being released they will imbed themselves in skin tissue as well as the tissue of our sex organs, creating problems in those areas.
While wearing clothes had a lot to do with protection from changing climates it also had a lot to do with trying to keep our sex pheromones from going all over the place. After all, we did not want to mate with anybody and everybody. In our attempt at further separation clothes became both a literal and symbolic line of demarcation, or separation. When we look at a naked body (either in real life or in a photo) we are receiving and reading all the sex pheromones being emitted by that body (either at the time or at the time the photo was taken). We decided we did not want to read everyone's sex pheromones and we did not want everyone to be reading our sex pheromones. Clothes offered a way to hide, or at least disguise, those pheromones. They are a veil we put between ourselves to provide a comfort zone in which to pursue individuation.
So what happens when you hold your pheromones inside your body? Does that mean others cannot read them? Actually, no it does not. It merely means the pheromones are a little harder to find. Pheromones are designed to be emitted from the body and to meet other pheromones outside of the body. If you are holding your pheromones inside your body then other pheromones will have to come inside your body to find them in an attempt at initiating circuitry. This is unnatural and creates a feeling of being invaded. We react to this by getting defensive and by holding even more pheromones within the body.
When two people meet their pheromones are already very busy searching out any possible circuitry. When both people hold their pheromones within their bodies that circuitry will be very difficult and the two people will have difficulty connecting. When one person is holding their pheromones within their body and the other is letting them flow out unimpeded, the person holding their pheromones within their body will feel very threatened by the other person and will get defensive and turn away from the other person. The other person will feel the defensiveness of the first person and either turn away because it is not a compatible connection or it will pursue that first person if they are one who feeds off the energy of other's defensiveness. If both people are allowing their pheromones to flow out unimpeded, their pheromones will meet out in the air between them. They will either find a compatibility that leads to a healthy exchange of energy or they will be able to read an incompatibility and proceed to go their own way.
Concerning lust and pornography, first, let me say that pheromones can not only travel through the air but they can go through brick walls. They can go through internet connections, clothes, across continents, through steel, and they can be captured and emitted through photographs and videos. If you take a picture of a sexually aroused naked person their sex pheromones are captured and held in that photograph. When you look at the photograph your pheromones can detect and connect with the pheromones of the sexually aroused naked person in the photograph. (The same goes for a fully clothed sexually aroused person.)
So when you look at a photo of a sexually aroused naked person you are actually connecting with that person through their pheromones. Their sex pheromones activate your sex pheromones and a circuitry can be established even though one person is not there and is only in a photograph. Even though the photograph may have been taken years ago, the pheromones of the person who is in the photograph will receive the pheromones of the person looking at the photo. So a porn star whose nude photos are being circulated and looked at by thousands of people will have the pheromones of those thousands of people directioned towards her (or him) and their pheromones will have to deal with the pheromones of those thousands of people. This can create a situation of extreme pheromone overload. Some can feed off this energy but for most it can be too much--especially if the porn star is holding any sex pheromones within their body.
The same can be said of any movie stars or anyone whose pictures are in wide circulation. If a movie star is widely adored and the many pictures in circulation are kept and viewed by people adoring that movie star the movie star will feel that adoration through the onslaught of pheromones released through viewing their photos and, if they can handle it, they can use that intense adoration to feed them energy and further their career.
Anyway, can you see why Crazy Horse never allowed himself to be photographed? Can you see why many celebrities choose to always appear in public with dark sunglasses on? A very large number of pheromones are released through our eyeballs and these pheromones can be read from photographs.
Sexually, we seek circuitry in order to create arousal and subsequent expression and release of sexual energy. Pornography can create enough circuitry to create that arousal. The viewer of the pornography must then find the expression and release.
Of course, we can also create arousal through imagination. It's easier, though, for many to look at a photograph than use their imagination. We can also create arousal through creating an intimate circuitry with another human being. Once again, it is easier for some to just look at a photograph. What may be more important than the arousal is how we express and release that sexual energy. And it is possible to create arousal and expression and release of sexual energy without engaging other humans. It is important to realize that whether we are viewing photos or videos or other humans we are engaging a circuitry with those humans. Engaging other people in circuitry is neither right nor wrong; it is a matter of quality of circuitry.
So here we are in a physical dimension with physical bodies and with pheromones flying all over the place. We are so overloaded with it that we have thoroughly forgotten about our original method of communication; feeling-tones and one-ness.
In the process of individuation we must first separate and then we must be able to see through those veils of separation. By bringing one-ness back into the equation we can merge our divinity with our individuality and become the gods that we are. We seemed trapped in circuitries but if we become aware of how those circuitries function we need not be trapped. We operate in pheromonal emotional circuitries. Once we realize this and remember that we also have available to us feeling-tone circuitries we can use both to express ourselves and create from the feeling-tone of unconditional love that feeds all things.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
The Illusion Of Lust
Lust is the result of an illusion. Lust is the desire to possess that which is seen as separate. This separateness is an illusion, for we are all ONE. So if we can see the one-ness beyond the veils of separation, then lust becomes superfluous.
In a state of one-ness, there is no desire to possess something (or someone) outside of us, for everything is already part of us. We already own everything as our creation. In one-ness, we will find that the very act of trying to possess something is an assault on that something's energy. Possessing will be replaced by allowing. Instead of lusting after wealth or fame or power or sexual partners, we allow that to be magnetized to us which reflects the vibrational state we are in. If that vibratory state is one of love, joy, and beauty, then there is no limit to what we can manifest. (What will be reflected back to us.) If that vibrational state is one of lust, then we will be forever looking outside of ourselves for fulfillment. We cannot find fulfillment outside of ourselves if we haven't found it within ourselves. Once we realize our own divinity, we are in complete possession of our reality.
Lust is an emotion and is therefore chemical. Every time the emotion of lust is felt lust pheromones are released from the body. These pheromones go out and search for people or things to possess, and lead you to them. When you are in a chemical state, you need a reaction to your reactions--you need someone or something outside of yourself to complete that chemical circuitry.
In a state of one-ness, you are operating in an electrical circuitry. The energy comes through you and goes out and electrifies everything without needing a complement to the circuit. It's one way. It is a matter of allowing that electrical energy through you. Lusting jams the energy flow, throwing you into a chemical circuitry.
In a state of one-ness, there is no desire to possess something (or someone) outside of us, for everything is already part of us. We already own everything as our creation. In one-ness, we will find that the very act of trying to possess something is an assault on that something's energy. Possessing will be replaced by allowing. Instead of lusting after wealth or fame or power or sexual partners, we allow that to be magnetized to us which reflects the vibrational state we are in. If that vibratory state is one of love, joy, and beauty, then there is no limit to what we can manifest. (What will be reflected back to us.) If that vibrational state is one of lust, then we will be forever looking outside of ourselves for fulfillment. We cannot find fulfillment outside of ourselves if we haven't found it within ourselves. Once we realize our own divinity, we are in complete possession of our reality.
Lust is an emotion and is therefore chemical. Every time the emotion of lust is felt lust pheromones are released from the body. These pheromones go out and search for people or things to possess, and lead you to them. When you are in a chemical state, you need a reaction to your reactions--you need someone or something outside of yourself to complete that chemical circuitry.
In a state of one-ness, you are operating in an electrical circuitry. The energy comes through you and goes out and electrifies everything without needing a complement to the circuit. It's one way. It is a matter of allowing that electrical energy through you. Lusting jams the energy flow, throwing you into a chemical circuitry.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Happiness In Marriage
No one can make a person happy except that person. You can express happiness, but you can't force another to be happy. That is an infringement of free-will. A marriage is a contract between two individuals to experience a time-frame together but each individual is responsible for their own happiness. When one individual looks to the other for happiness, they will never find the real deal because the real deal can only be found within. They may still find a lot of good stuff together, but the real deal is within. When one individual attempts to force their perception of happiness on the other, that short-circuits both individual's ability to find happiness within.
We marry someone because we love them. Of course we want them to be happy. But it is not our duty to make them happy, because we can't! All we can do is go within ourselves and find our own true happiness and then exude it and project it out for our partner to see how grand the happiness within can be. But you can't force a partner, or anyone, to go within. You can only be an example.
If you feel like your spouse's happiness is your responsibility, then you're going to feel guilty every time they're not happy. Why would you do that to yourself? You are loading yourself down with sticky gooey tarry guilt for not doing something that you cannot do anyway. And then, the more unhappy he/she is, the more guilt you feel, and then arises the possibility of you blaming him/her for your guilt. This is keeping you from finding your happiness within. The only way off this emotional see-saw is to just stop. You have got to get off the seesaw long enough in order to go within.
Happiness is something that we share with our partner. We share our own happiness with them, but we do not impose that happiness on them and we do not try to direct their happiness. All we can do is share unconditionally. The very second we expect a certain type of response or the very second we judge a response that we are getting, we are being conditional, and we're back on that seesaw. If we are sharing our happiness with our mate and we are EXPECTING ANYTHING AT ALL IN RETURN!, then we are not sharing unconditionally.
No one can keep you from the birthright that is your happiness within unless you allow them to--and even then it is still YOU that are keeping yourself from finding the happiness within through your allowance. Just don't blame him/her. That is just more sticky gooey tar for the mix.
Blame, fear, doubt, sorrow, anger...whew, it can get pretty sticky and gooey and tarry. But how do we get out of sticky, gooey tar? By releasing all judgment! Expectations are a judgment. In releasing expectations and other judgments that we hold about our partner, we find a whole new layer of expectations and judgments we didn't even know we had. We release those and then we find another whole layer of expectations and judgments. Most marriage partnerships have many, many layers of goo.
It can take a while to release all those many layers of expectations and judgments, but when we do and our partner is still there, then we've got a pretty darn good love bond with them. And if, after all the releasing of judgment, the partner is no longer there; that is okay, too, because we will have found our happiness. If we are holding fear and doubt and expectation as to whether or not they will still be there, then we are just adding more judgment rather than releasing it. And if we are dependent in any way on them for our happiness, then we will never find it.
Yes, what I am saying may sound extreme, but it is the point everyone will eventually get to, so we may as well start thinking about it now to help draw that point closer to us. Every single relationship reaches a point where the two individuals must release each other. It is my contention that you cannot truly love someone until you completely release them. To me, the wedding seems to be the best time to release someone. That almost never happens. Most of us will not release our mates until either we or they die--and even then many of us won't release. Marriage is too often used as a crutch rather than a co-creative partnership. We hold on to our partners for dear life and in the process we strangle each other and keep each other from the happiness within. Release.
We marry someone because we love them. Of course we want them to be happy. But it is not our duty to make them happy, because we can't! All we can do is go within ourselves and find our own true happiness and then exude it and project it out for our partner to see how grand the happiness within can be. But you can't force a partner, or anyone, to go within. You can only be an example.
If you feel like your spouse's happiness is your responsibility, then you're going to feel guilty every time they're not happy. Why would you do that to yourself? You are loading yourself down with sticky gooey tarry guilt for not doing something that you cannot do anyway. And then, the more unhappy he/she is, the more guilt you feel, and then arises the possibility of you blaming him/her for your guilt. This is keeping you from finding your happiness within. The only way off this emotional see-saw is to just stop. You have got to get off the seesaw long enough in order to go within.
Happiness is something that we share with our partner. We share our own happiness with them, but we do not impose that happiness on them and we do not try to direct their happiness. All we can do is share unconditionally. The very second we expect a certain type of response or the very second we judge a response that we are getting, we are being conditional, and we're back on that seesaw. If we are sharing our happiness with our mate and we are EXPECTING ANYTHING AT ALL IN RETURN!, then we are not sharing unconditionally.
No one can keep you from the birthright that is your happiness within unless you allow them to--and even then it is still YOU that are keeping yourself from finding the happiness within through your allowance. Just don't blame him/her. That is just more sticky gooey tar for the mix.
Blame, fear, doubt, sorrow, anger...whew, it can get pretty sticky and gooey and tarry. But how do we get out of sticky, gooey tar? By releasing all judgment! Expectations are a judgment. In releasing expectations and other judgments that we hold about our partner, we find a whole new layer of expectations and judgments we didn't even know we had. We release those and then we find another whole layer of expectations and judgments. Most marriage partnerships have many, many layers of goo.
It can take a while to release all those many layers of expectations and judgments, but when we do and our partner is still there, then we've got a pretty darn good love bond with them. And if, after all the releasing of judgment, the partner is no longer there; that is okay, too, because we will have found our happiness. If we are holding fear and doubt and expectation as to whether or not they will still be there, then we are just adding more judgment rather than releasing it. And if we are dependent in any way on them for our happiness, then we will never find it.
Yes, what I am saying may sound extreme, but it is the point everyone will eventually get to, so we may as well start thinking about it now to help draw that point closer to us. Every single relationship reaches a point where the two individuals must release each other. It is my contention that you cannot truly love someone until you completely release them. To me, the wedding seems to be the best time to release someone. That almost never happens. Most of us will not release our mates until either we or they die--and even then many of us won't release. Marriage is too often used as a crutch rather than a co-creative partnership. We hold on to our partners for dear life and in the process we strangle each other and keep each other from the happiness within. Release.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Prostitution and Divorce
In the old Lakota society only the woman in a marriage had the power of divorce. And all she had to do to divorce her husband was to kick him out of her teepee. All teepees and communal property were owned by the women. Men only owned their horses and weapons. Everything else belonged to the women. And only the woman could grant a divorce. Men had no say in the matter—although if the man wanted a divorce bad enough he could engage in behavior that helped convince the woman to divorce him.
Real marriage or divorce happens only within one’s heart. It only involves ONE person.
There is a little prostitution involved in practically every relationship. Prostitution is merely a means of exchange and we all are involved in exchanges that have subtle hints of prostitution at certain levels. With unconditional love there is no exchange. Exchange is always conditional! Prostitution is when we exchange our sacredness for power (money). Most all of us do that on a daily....nay, hourly rate. So when we talk about prostitution we are really talking about the degree of prostitution that is acceptable. While we prostitute ourselves constantly in little subtle ways, we cross the line of acceptable prostitution when we exchange sex and money. There is a great hypocrisy involved in condemning prostitution on one side of the line and not on the other. It is all the same thing. It is an energy exchange.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! The holy bonds of matrimony are a condition! Divorce is a condition. When you unconditionally love someone, none of that other stuff matters one iota. If you unconditionally love someone then chances are that you are not married to that someone because then your love would not be unconditional anymore. That is how unconditional, unconditional can be.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! There is no giving and taking, there is merely a ONE-directional flow of energy. Ninety-nine percent of the sex humans engage in is an exchange! One percent of the sex (actually, less) is an expression of unconditional love....which is NOT an exchange. Can you imagine sex without any exchange involved? No give or take? Is it even possible? The ancient Hindu believed that this kind of rare sexual expression of unconditional love could bring about incredible enlightenment.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! Think about that. Imagine that. Stretch your thinking to accommodate every tangible result of such a statement. As long as we are NOT in unconditional love then we are in some form of exchange. That is neither good nor bad but we judge it so in relation to the level of prostitution involved (according to our beliefs in prostitution). And, of course, our beliefs are shaped by our experiences and the experiences of all our aspects (other lives). Hopefully, every aspect will have a different perspective. In this way we can gain a whole perspective. That is why everyone—in one life or another—has experienced prostitution and that is also why we have all experience murder. We are learning and experiencing a system of exchange (duality) so we must experience the whole system for a whole understanding. We must “stand under” all the perspectives.
I have had to learn that I have been a murderer and a no-account son-of-a-bitch in other lives, but going beyond that I can see how the exchange patterns create a karma of their own. Once you see them you can then snip them off, so to speak, releasing karma. It is always handy to have a pair of scissors with you when you are out to release karma. Karma is like residue or imprints of exchanges made repeatedly over time. So unconditional love, since it goes beyond exchange, is a way of dissipating and going beyond karma.
By the way, wealth can be created through exchange but true abundance is created through unconditional love.
Real marriage or divorce happens only within one’s heart. It only involves ONE person.
There is a little prostitution involved in practically every relationship. Prostitution is merely a means of exchange and we all are involved in exchanges that have subtle hints of prostitution at certain levels. With unconditional love there is no exchange. Exchange is always conditional! Prostitution is when we exchange our sacredness for power (money). Most all of us do that on a daily....nay, hourly rate. So when we talk about prostitution we are really talking about the degree of prostitution that is acceptable. While we prostitute ourselves constantly in little subtle ways, we cross the line of acceptable prostitution when we exchange sex and money. There is a great hypocrisy involved in condemning prostitution on one side of the line and not on the other. It is all the same thing. It is an energy exchange.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! The holy bonds of matrimony are a condition! Divorce is a condition. When you unconditionally love someone, none of that other stuff matters one iota. If you unconditionally love someone then chances are that you are not married to that someone because then your love would not be unconditional anymore. That is how unconditional, unconditional can be.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! There is no giving and taking, there is merely a ONE-directional flow of energy. Ninety-nine percent of the sex humans engage in is an exchange! One percent of the sex (actually, less) is an expression of unconditional love....which is NOT an exchange. Can you imagine sex without any exchange involved? No give or take? Is it even possible? The ancient Hindu believed that this kind of rare sexual expression of unconditional love could bring about incredible enlightenment.
With unconditional love there is no exchange! Think about that. Imagine that. Stretch your thinking to accommodate every tangible result of such a statement. As long as we are NOT in unconditional love then we are in some form of exchange. That is neither good nor bad but we judge it so in relation to the level of prostitution involved (according to our beliefs in prostitution). And, of course, our beliefs are shaped by our experiences and the experiences of all our aspects (other lives). Hopefully, every aspect will have a different perspective. In this way we can gain a whole perspective. That is why everyone—in one life or another—has experienced prostitution and that is also why we have all experience murder. We are learning and experiencing a system of exchange (duality) so we must experience the whole system for a whole understanding. We must “stand under” all the perspectives.
I have had to learn that I have been a murderer and a no-account son-of-a-bitch in other lives, but going beyond that I can see how the exchange patterns create a karma of their own. Once you see them you can then snip them off, so to speak, releasing karma. It is always handy to have a pair of scissors with you when you are out to release karma. Karma is like residue or imprints of exchanges made repeatedly over time. So unconditional love, since it goes beyond exchange, is a way of dissipating and going beyond karma.
By the way, wealth can be created through exchange but true abundance is created through unconditional love.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
What Makes a Good 'True' Relationship?
Question: “What makes a good, true relationship?”
I would say that a "good true relationship" is one grounded in and based on unconditional love. We might react to each other from mental and emotional levels outside of unconditional love but, being based and grounded in unconditional love, we can be aware of that and not let those mental and emotional reactions overcome our basis in unconditional love. We do not lose sight of that unconditional love. When one in the relationship stays grounded in unconditional love and sees the other slip into emotional and mental reactions they do not let themselves slip into it either and are thus able to keep the relationship anchored in unconditional love. The tables may turn and the next time it is the other who stays anchored in unconditional love. A "good and true relationship" is therefore one that does not lose its moorings from unconditional love despite forays into mental and emotional games. It is one in which unconditional love endures through all relapses into mental and emotional games.
When issues come up, they will be seen and realized as opportunities to clear things in a "good true relationship." They will be appreciated as they are worked through because they lead to and strengthen the one-ness the relationship is based on. In a relationship not based in unconditional love and one-ness, issues fester and grow and take over the relationship. They are fed and grow into battles in which the only ending is one person winning. And, of course, both people lose. When based in unconditional love, with an awareness of that, a "good true relationship" sees every issue as an opportunity for transformation and learning and self-realization. Every issue is a gift that shines light on and transforms our resistance to unconditional love. A "good true relationship" has no expectations because expectations are conditions. A "good true relationship" has nothing to prove because unconditional love needs no proof. A "good true relationship" is not based in emotions because all emotions are conditional and reactionary. A "good true relationship" is not based on thought. It is based solely in feeling. It is a matter of God recognizing God and feeling good about it. That involves seeing through all the dust and smudges on the mirror. It means feeling the love and not just seeing and reacting to the images. A "good and true relationship" is a mirror of the heart. Most relationships mirror thoughts and emotions. In a heart mirror, thoughts and emotions can never destroy and dislodge that which anchors unconditional love.
I would say that a "good true relationship" is one grounded in and based on unconditional love. We might react to each other from mental and emotional levels outside of unconditional love but, being based and grounded in unconditional love, we can be aware of that and not let those mental and emotional reactions overcome our basis in unconditional love. We do not lose sight of that unconditional love. When one in the relationship stays grounded in unconditional love and sees the other slip into emotional and mental reactions they do not let themselves slip into it either and are thus able to keep the relationship anchored in unconditional love. The tables may turn and the next time it is the other who stays anchored in unconditional love. A "good and true relationship" is therefore one that does not lose its moorings from unconditional love despite forays into mental and emotional games. It is one in which unconditional love endures through all relapses into mental and emotional games.
When issues come up, they will be seen and realized as opportunities to clear things in a "good true relationship." They will be appreciated as they are worked through because they lead to and strengthen the one-ness the relationship is based on. In a relationship not based in unconditional love and one-ness, issues fester and grow and take over the relationship. They are fed and grow into battles in which the only ending is one person winning. And, of course, both people lose. When based in unconditional love, with an awareness of that, a "good true relationship" sees every issue as an opportunity for transformation and learning and self-realization. Every issue is a gift that shines light on and transforms our resistance to unconditional love. A "good true relationship" has no expectations because expectations are conditions. A "good true relationship" has nothing to prove because unconditional love needs no proof. A "good true relationship" is not based in emotions because all emotions are conditional and reactionary. A "good true relationship" is not based on thought. It is based solely in feeling. It is a matter of God recognizing God and feeling good about it. That involves seeing through all the dust and smudges on the mirror. It means feeling the love and not just seeing and reacting to the images. A "good and true relationship" is a mirror of the heart. Most relationships mirror thoughts and emotions. In a heart mirror, thoughts and emotions can never destroy and dislodge that which anchors unconditional love.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Disengaging From Connections With Other People
Question: "How does one genuinely disengage from and release connections with other people?"
I am slowly coming to the realization that nothing can accomplish this. It cannot be done. After all, we are all one, right? We are all connected whether we like it or not. We cannot cut and separate one-ness--though we have been trying to for umpteen million years. It just cannot be done. What we can disengage from and release, however, is our reactions to these connections. The connections to all other humans are there and we cannot change that but we can change how we engage those connections. In this regard we have plenty of choice.
While we all have a connection to humankind at large, we also have a connection to every single other human. Most of those connections we have never engaged. After all, with 6+ billion people on the planet we simply do not have time to engage the connections with each and every one of them. The connections are still there, though. We just have not engaged them with our energy. Our connections with friends and family and lovers and enemies, however, we have fed with a great deal of energy usually through numerous lifetimes. Those connections are energized circuitries with well established patterns of energy exchange. All the energy we put into these connections feeds storylines being played out over time. We can put in a certain emotional energy, for instance, into one of the energetic circuitries and that energy will travel throughout the matrix of the story-lines, feed the story-line and keep it going, and then eventually came back at us.
When you are reading a storybook and you do not like the story, you can just close the book and stop reading. But we cannot do that with our established circuitries. We cannot even end them by dying because we will just be magnetized back into another life and further situations with those we have circuitries with. I think this is where the phrase, Karma is a bitch, comes from. But it is not as hopeless as it sounds. While we cannot get rid of the connection we have with every single other human and while we cannot turn off established circuitries, what we can do is transform those circuitries. We do that by changing the energy that we put into the circuitries. Normally we are feeding our various circuitries with emotional and mental energy. This kind of energy feeds the circuitries and keeps them going, looping and looping through story-line after story-line. While we cannot cut off the circuitries, we can stop feeding them emotional and mental energy and instead feed them with a very different kind of energy. You see, there is another kind of energy that, when fed into the circuitries, utterly transforms them and heals them and brings loving closure to the looping. The connection remains but the circuitry is cleaned out and purified.
That other kind of energy is called pure unconditional love (which, of course, is very different from emotional and mental love). So while we cannot disengage and release our selves from the connection, we can heal and transform any established circuitry that utilizes the connection. It may take some time for unconditional love to clean out and transform the entire circuitry, especially if the circuitry is long and convoluted, but eventually it will do its job. The thing to remember is to not fall back into a pattern of feeding the connection emotional and mental energy, thus re-energizing the established circuitry. A long, steady uninterrupted flow of unconditional energy will eventually heal and transform any circuitry it is projected into. It is the only thing that I have found that works.
I am slowly coming to the realization that nothing can accomplish this. It cannot be done. After all, we are all one, right? We are all connected whether we like it or not. We cannot cut and separate one-ness--though we have been trying to for umpteen million years. It just cannot be done. What we can disengage from and release, however, is our reactions to these connections. The connections to all other humans are there and we cannot change that but we can change how we engage those connections. In this regard we have plenty of choice.
While we all have a connection to humankind at large, we also have a connection to every single other human. Most of those connections we have never engaged. After all, with 6+ billion people on the planet we simply do not have time to engage the connections with each and every one of them. The connections are still there, though. We just have not engaged them with our energy. Our connections with friends and family and lovers and enemies, however, we have fed with a great deal of energy usually through numerous lifetimes. Those connections are energized circuitries with well established patterns of energy exchange. All the energy we put into these connections feeds storylines being played out over time. We can put in a certain emotional energy, for instance, into one of the energetic circuitries and that energy will travel throughout the matrix of the story-lines, feed the story-line and keep it going, and then eventually came back at us.
When you are reading a storybook and you do not like the story, you can just close the book and stop reading. But we cannot do that with our established circuitries. We cannot even end them by dying because we will just be magnetized back into another life and further situations with those we have circuitries with. I think this is where the phrase, Karma is a bitch, comes from. But it is not as hopeless as it sounds. While we cannot get rid of the connection we have with every single other human and while we cannot turn off established circuitries, what we can do is transform those circuitries. We do that by changing the energy that we put into the circuitries. Normally we are feeding our various circuitries with emotional and mental energy. This kind of energy feeds the circuitries and keeps them going, looping and looping through story-line after story-line. While we cannot cut off the circuitries, we can stop feeding them emotional and mental energy and instead feed them with a very different kind of energy. You see, there is another kind of energy that, when fed into the circuitries, utterly transforms them and heals them and brings loving closure to the looping. The connection remains but the circuitry is cleaned out and purified.
That other kind of energy is called pure unconditional love (which, of course, is very different from emotional and mental love). So while we cannot disengage and release our selves from the connection, we can heal and transform any established circuitry that utilizes the connection. It may take some time for unconditional love to clean out and transform the entire circuitry, especially if the circuitry is long and convoluted, but eventually it will do its job. The thing to remember is to not fall back into a pattern of feeding the connection emotional and mental energy, thus re-energizing the established circuitry. A long, steady uninterrupted flow of unconditional energy will eventually heal and transform any circuitry it is projected into. It is the only thing that I have found that works.
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Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Photo and cover design Copyright by White Feather.